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[everythinglost]

Call for a good time

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[unknownjoy]

"I'm sorry, Fitz." No, he's not. "What I said is true, but I should clarify that I like you better."

It's not a lie, but that doesn't mean it's not manipulative.

"I don't believe what he said about you being a broken robot either, but if you were, I wouldn't mind since I'm broken too."

[everythinglost]

Fitz doesn't believe that he's sorry, but that's not the part that matters. He doesn't lose his defensiveness, but that's only in rare moments, anyway.

"You're not broken, or if you are, it's not like you're alone there." He shrugs. "So, you like hurting other people and feel empty inside. I'm pretty sure there's a whole cottage industry, there. You're fucked up, and pay attention to the wrong parts, but that's different."

[unknownjoy]

He shakes his head. "I don't need reassurance, nor want it. I only said that in case you see yourself that way too—the way the other Fitz described—and were worried."

He crosses his arms.

"Do you consider us friends?"

[everythinglost]

"It's not reassurance, it's a point against your drama."

Fitz uncrosses his arms to rub his chin. He hasn't consciously thought about the question before.

"I suppose so. I don't have anything against you and you're not bad company," he shrugs, as he figures it's not a terrible explanation and doesn't admit to too much.

[unknownjoy]

"I'm not bad company?" He almost laughs. "Well, I suppose this place must force you to grade on a curve."

[everythinglost]

Fitz shrugs again. "It depends on your standards. If I was judging friendship by hope of tender emotional support, you wouldn't be on the list, but I can talk to you apart art."

[unknownjoy]

"What does friendship mean to you?" he asks, completely serious now.

[everythinglost]

You can't just ask someone what friendship means to them, Kirei. Jeez.

Also not the sort of question he's stupid enough to fully answer to a friend who is willing to use things against him.

"It means hanging out with people I like okay. Which isn't a long list. People might not normally annoy you, but not everyone's so lucky. It's not that complicated."

[unknownjoy]

"After that breach, the warden conference room with the inmate ledger appeared. Do you know what your entry says?" He doesn't wait for an answer.

"It says you're a 'very loyal friend.' I asked Anji about it when she was here during the flood. She said if someone's your friend then they're your friend, even if they're not good to you in return."

[everythinglost]

He scowls, folding his arms again. He hadn't wanted to know what his entry on the inmate ledger said, and this hasn't changed his mind. As for Anji - well.

"If someone's your friend than they're your friend even if they're going through some stuff. Anji thinks she knows so much... And she thinks people should see things the same way she does. I don't go around saying anything about what she thinks a friendship should be. It doesn't balance out like numbers, one bad moment isn't something to be weighed against a good moment to say whether someone's good to you or not."

[unknownjoy]

"Anji isn't currently stuck in space jail with only a cryptic message about friendship to help get her out," Kirei says sensibly.

"That doesn't make her ideas about it right and yours wrong. I don't think it should be treated like accounting either"—not that he knows anything—"but what would you say if one of your friends was being mistreated by one of their other friends?"

[everythinglost]

"Just give it time. Not this one, but we do end up stuck in space jails pretty often." He's never been one to let a digression go by when he doesn't want to talk about something.

There's an honest answer to Kirei's question, but it's one of those pieces of honesty Fitz keeps carefully away from having to think about himself, let alone sharing it with anyone.

"It all depends on the situation, doesn't it? How I see it, it's always case by case."

[unknownjoy]

The attempt at digression slides past Kirei, who continues to stare levelly.

"You wouldn't tell them they don't deserve to be abused?" he presses intently. "What situation warrants anything other than that as a response?"

He doesn't expect honesty or a firm set of morals from Fitz, but it's still a new level of callousness.

[everythinglost]

"Of course they don't deserve that." That there's no injury to his tone is one of the main signs that he's both being honest, and wasn't expecting what he sees as a switch what they're talking about. After all, they'd started with Anji and her thoughts on his choices. "I assumed you were talking about a fight or maybe making a choice that's not great for everyone or something. If it's consistent abuse, then I'd try to help them leave. And try to help them work through the fact that person is an awful friend."

Truthful, and not something he'd ever apply to a relationship he's been part of.

[unknownjoy]

"You don't deserve it either, Fitz."

He looks away. He knows he's abusive himself, which is why he tried to discourage Fitz from seeing him as a friend. It apparently didn't work, so he'll just have to monitor himself and cut the friendship off if it goes too far since Fitz obviously can't be trusted to assert any boundaries.

[everythinglost]

"Of course I don't."

He shakes his head.

"I'm well aware the Doctor can be a dick at times, that doesn't make him abusive. For one thing, if he was Anji wouldn't just say that she thinks I agree with him too much. Other friends can also chose to be assholes, but if it was in a way that really bothered me, I'd just leave."

The confidence of someone who fully believes what he's saying.

[unknownjoy]

Kirei doubts Fitz really listens to what Anji has to say about the Doctor's behavior.

He doubts he'll listen to anyone about it.

"Would you?" He doesn't bother to hide his skepticism. "Because Anji told me you wouldn't. What do you think she means when she says you agree with him too much? Do you actually hear what she's saying or only what you want to hear?"

[everythinglost]

"I would." Admittedly putting that 'just leave' after 'other friends' is doing a great deal of work.

Leaving the Doctor isn't an option. And. Well. That he has nothing to leave the Doctor for is a more literal statement than he chooses to think about. The only part of his 'home' that mattered is gone, and he's wanted by the police across quite a few countries and time zones. He doesn't have other friends. He doesn't have money, or any way of being sure of making some.

Not that that's something he'd worry about, even if he thought it. After all, he's always managed to survive the various times the Doctor has abandoned him.

"Anji isn't the biggest fan of spontaneous trips. She's into organized itineraries and stuff like that. Me, I prefer the Doctor's style." He shrugs. "It's always a matter of trust, really. It's the same when the Doctor's accused of murdering someone, or if he asks me to go and find some stuff out. Okay, that second one is more not trusting me, which isn't unfair."

[unknownjoy]

"Trust?" His eyes widen and then go completely dead, more so than usual. "Why should you trust him?"

There's curiosity but also a hint of disgust. Not at Fitz, but as though the whole concept were somehow a personal affront.

[everythinglost]

"The same reason you trust anyone: consistent proof that they can and will do what they say."

Fitz isn't particularly in the habit of trusting people, himself. The Doctor is an exception, that only a few people have come close to.

[unknownjoy]

Kirei gives a steady, uncomfortable stare.

"That's just outward behavior. If he's your best friend and you trust him with your life, shouldn't there be more to it than that?"

He frowns, slightly frustrated with his own ignorance. He knows nothing of this topic and can never hope to understand it.

[everythinglost]

Fitz gives him an odd look, not baffled, but not without a slight edge of confusion.

"If you don't base trust off consistent outward behavior, then what could you use?"

[unknownjoy]

"Evil is very mysterious, Fitz. It'll save you a thousand times in a row only to suddenly decide it would rather see the look on your face when you realize you've been betrayed."

Kirei smiles.

"That's why you shouldn't make friends with evil people."

[everythinglost]

Fitz rolls his eyes.

"I hope you tried out for your school drama club, Kirei. It'd be a shame if they missed out on a star. Evil isn't any sort of 'mysterious', if it was, it might be less embarrassing. Cruelty, greed, lack of care for others - there's a long list of 'evil' and it tends to be a lot less complicated than 'good'. And, going to be honest, if the Doctor was evil, he wouldn't manage to carry off some sort of long game like that. He can't exactly be called master of delayed gratification. Forget the numerous times he's been tortured, if someone really wanted him to suffer they'd make him wait five minutes before opening a gift."

He loves the Doctor, with all his heart and through times of joy and times of trouble. He'd also say that being locked in a cell with him for more than ten minutes is complete justification for murder.

"And, personally, if I'm saved a thousand times in a row, I'd count that as a pretty good streak."

[unknownjoy]

"Something can be mysterious in one way but banal in another. It's not even a contradiction because you would think evil being so boring and stupid would lessen its appeal—but for some reason it doesn't, judging by the amount of it and how easily it spreads. And even those who aren't boring and stupid can be tempted."

Kirei hasn't even noticed he's spontaneously sharing real, mostly unfiltered thoughts. A rare phenomena.

"Are you sure the Doctor isn't evil in a different way? There are different types. It doesn't always have to come armed with strategies and long term plans."