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[everythinglost]

Call for a good time

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[everythinglost]

“The universe suffered but I’m still not sure it counts if only five or so people know what never happened.” He lights another cigarette.

“No, he was one of those people who don’t participate on moral grounds. You can kidnap him to try to make weapons and then find you really can’t make him sort of thing.”

[wildguardian]

"Conscientious objector?" Yunlan suggests. He doesn't think "pacifist" actually is the right word, considering.

[everythinglost]

"Yeah, that's the one. He can be a hypocrite, but he wasn't about that."

[wildguardian]

"Stakes like that," Yunlan sighs, "I'm glad he decided not to be a hypocrite about it."

[everythinglost]

"He doesn't like wars, but there are times you have to fight. And there are times when you have to say that joining a fight would be unforgivable. So, he's one of the only ones left."

[wildguardian]

"That's a hard place to be in." His tone is thoughtful, but not particularly pitying. It's also a lucky escape -- getting out before your entire damn species manages to obliterate itself in a causality war.

"Well. Sounds like it's a lucky thing that the universe came out of it in one piece. "

[everythinglost]

"It didn't. But, so far, it seems like it can hold together enough for things not to totally fall apart, despite large holes."

[wildguardian]

"Is that why you need to keep up all the patch jobs?"

[everythinglost]

"Mostly, yeah."

It's not something he could admit on the network, or when he wasn't just a step or so past violently hung-over.

[wildguardian]

Yunlan sighs, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Sounds to me like a shitty situation all around."

[everythinglost]

“It is, but doesn’t that go for most things?” He scrubs a hand across his face. “I know there’s stuff Anji thinks isn’t - great,” and she at least knows the Doctor. “But there’s stuff she doesn’t get.”

[wildguardian]

"Nobody looking in from the outside ever really gets it," Yunlan concedes. "Though she's probably got a better view than me -- I've never even met the guy.

"But, you know, sometimes the view from outside spots shit you can't see from the inside, too."

[everythinglost]

"She doesn't know most of the stuff about the war. Not about what happened to the Doctor's people, really. She thinks I'm overprotective."

[wildguardian]

"Mm. Like -- overprotective how? I mean, if that shit already happened, in whatever weird-ass causality way 'already' can happen when you're talking time travel, what's he need protecting from?"

[everythinglost]

"Emotionally, mostly. I'm not the one who thinks grabbing a gun and going after deranged cyborgs to play backup is a good idea." He doesn't like how often the Doctor ends up hurt - how close the line between being hurt and hurting yourself can look - but that's not what he and Anji disagree on. "But she doesn't know what he was like, before. He's - still recovering."

[wildguardian]

"Yeah, all right," Yunlan says with a quirk of his lips. "Just don't protect him over yourself too much, okay? It never works out the way you want it to."

[everythinglost]

"I think that depends on what you want."

[wildguardian]

"Making him feel better?"

[everythinglost]

"Ha. I have control over my optimistic streak. I just want him to survive."

[wildguardian]

"Tell me..." The corner of Yunlan's mouth crooks up. "Are you too hung over for a really shitty storytime? I give rainchecks."

[everythinglost]

Fitz does give the question thought. "Eh, story-time goes best with hangovers."

[wildguardian]

Yunlan raises one finger. "All right. This isn't for public consumption, mind. But back before Shen Wei and I got here... things went real fucking bad at the end. Guy with superpowers gathering powerful artifacts to end the world, kind of thing. We were both captured.

"So he took the last hit for me, see." He stretches his legs out, sprawling deliberately as he toys with the juice bottle, projecting nonchalance as hard as he can. It's mostly for himself. It's still a sensitive subject. "Used the last of his power to hit back, took the guy out, died.

"Problem is, the guy'd done enough damage in the process that Dixing was crumbling, and it had a good chance of taking the surface of the planet out with it if it went. The artifacts had to be activated to keep Dixing stable and save the planet. And, well, Shen Wei was dead anyway, so since it took a human life to activate them...

"Anyway, point is, declaring yourself expendable all on your own's a shitty thing to do."

cw for talking (somewhat around) suicide/worries about

[everythinglost]

"Damn, I suppose that means I have to think of a different story for book group." Fitz isn't as good at being antisocial as he'd like, sometimes, but, more honestly, in the various ways he chooses to be an asshole, sharing stuff a friend has told him isn't really on the list.

He sighs. "I'm pretty sure the code bans taking things written during the extremely self-pitying - even for me - stage as an honest assessment of fact. Actually, talking about drunk, I'm pretty sure back when we first met you told me a little of this story, and I said it sounded like Shen Wei shared some of the Doctor's worse qualities." He's quiet for a few moment, looking down at where he stubbed out his cigarette.

He looks up to meet Yunlan's eyes, expression completely serious now, even if he keeps his tone a little lighter. "But since you came close to being subjected to the time when I was ten and no one wanted me on their football team - I don't actually think I'm expendable, as nice and dramatic as that is. Would I ump in front of a hit for the Doctor? Yeah, probably, but it wouldn't be about saving anything but just forcing him to live with what I could. Which, to be fair, he has way more experience at. He's, like, a thousand and hangs out with humans. Most of his friends are dead, depending on what time it is. But when I say survive... I'm not talking about how he enjoys, and manages to get away with, fucking with people with guns. I saw him right after the war didn't happen. When there was nothing there. Telepathic, right."

Re: cw for talking (somewhat around) suicide/worries about

[wildguardian]

"In vino veritas, you know. Especially about the embarrassing shit. But... yeah, I can buy that bit about Shen Wei and the Doctor having some of their problems in common. From what you've said about him."

He sighs, one foot bouncing.

"I just mean, I worry about you ranking your own health and safety practices a little bit too low down on the scale."

Re: cw for talking (somewhat around) suicide/worries about

[everythinglost]

“I’ve always been skeptical of that. In vino… drama, or something, I don’t speak Latin.”